Monday, November 1, 2010

Beyond Reason


Last week a woman in the US pled guilty to killing her baby son. What made this international news (at least on the mum circuit) was that she did this after becoming enraged due to the baby crying while she was trying to play ‘Farmville’, a popular Facebook game.

Mums around the world have made their disgust about this very clear. Other mums repeatedly ask how this women can be allowed to be a mum. Expressing their disgust at the idea of a mum killing her own child, often asking how she could do it.


Modern mothering is hard work. The levels of self-control required are beyond reasonable expectations. Modern mothering is an isolated task. For the bulk of the day Mums look after their own children in their own houses on their own.

This story, albeit very sad, is not surprising, nor are the thousands of negative and disgusted comments that follow. What is sad is how few people acknowledge the role that modern society, and its idea of modern parenting, plays in this story.

Modern society expects and accepts a level of isolation that is beyond reason. When a mother becomes tired, stressed, angry, busy, lonely or any number of emotions that benefit from having another person around, they find that there is no other person. Modern Mums do not have immediate access to people who support them.

Rather than focusing energy on condemning this Mum, we need to spend it creating social change. As for how…. Well that is the focus of this entire blog.

NB. I have had this post on my mind for some time. It has been difficult to write. Not emotional difficult, but physically difficult. My daughter clambers all over me, hops down, grizzles, crawls off to play, comes back, tries to play with the power point, tries to play with my keyboard. This sounds cute, and today I am finding it adorable, however some days it is just incredible difficult to achieve anything. It is easy allow a negative emotion to fill my thoughts and some days I do. I am normal, you are normal, maybe even that Mum was normal….



  1. It is very sad. It can be so hard to not snap. It happens. Most of us regret it. But not like that mother. She always will.

  2. Yes. For most of us it is both harmless and/or hideable.