Friday, August 20, 2010

How do I ask for help?

I actually wrote this post a few months ago in the middle of the night. I like it as it shows the very raw emotion that mums can feel at times.

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Sometimes I feel like one of those actors who has a heart attack up on stage and everyone applauds thinking it was part of the performance. Cover your eyes if you are easily offended …. “fuck them” … there I said it.

I have said that word twice in my life out loud, that is until last night when I said it about fifty times under my breath while trying  to get my daughter to sleep. I was not swearing at my gorgeous little girl, I was just swearing because it released the anger inside of me in a non-damaging way (okay so that would  be damaging if she were old enough to understand that word).  Smashing cups in the back yard, screaming into a pillow, punching a boxing bag, swearing are all relatively harmless ways to release some tension.

My little girl is screaming right now. Actually screaming at me because I sat her down on the floor at my feet for sixty seconds. I picked her up and she is kicking me and grizzling. This is unusual behaviour for my little girl, it started so suddenly about three days ago. I can’t cope.

One of my family members, a few months ago, suggested that I wasn’t asking for help in the right way. Does there have to be a right way?

2 comments:

  1. if there is a right way to ask for help i need to know. when suffering PND with missC I called my mum and said ¨i am not coping can you come give me a hand around the house¨ her response was....¨ i managed with 3 kids you will be right¨ months later she came over and saw the state of the house and said ¨you just had to ask¨ ummm HELLO what did i do the first time? why bother asking again?

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  2. Agreed. In similar situations, I've found that it is so hard to ask for help in the first place. Let alone thinking about the 'right way'. To have the courage to ask for help and then to have your call unanswered or turned down - crippling.

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