Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Forming my Tribe

I want to write about how wonderful my new tribe-like existence, about how I exchanged my professional career tribe for a new family focused tribe. I want to tell you how every day is filled with conversation, joy and laughter. I want to tell you all that, after giving up a full-time job as a teacher, I am loving my new life as a stay-at-home mum. I cannot tell you any of this.

Several months ago, with a conviction that mothers need to adopt a more tribe-like existence, I began my own quest to bring myself out of isolation. I also began this blog.

Realising how isolated my days had become I set about making the mothering experience a much more social one. While I have definitely seem a couple of improvements, overall the process is languishing. I am still sitting home alone far more often than I would like. More and more I am noticing that I have not spoken a word for hours at a time. I force myself to describe my daily activities to my daughter, in order for her to have a healthy language development, however that becomes tiring and I fall into a quiet habit.

Despite my best efforts to create a core group of mums that work together it is just not happening. Despite multiple invites and even promises of visits only one other mum has become involved. I want to send out an invite for another cooking day, but I fear rejection (Note: I did send out another invite, with only one response). I also set about socializing myself on an individual basis, by visiting friends more. While that started very well I again became put off at the thought of inviting myself over to another mum's house too often. I began by inviting just four other  mums, I am realizing that I need to be a lot less selective in my invites. I also need to be a lot thicker skinned about the lack of turnout.

I should not be too hard on myself, these things do take time and it has only been a couple of months. I just do not get why this is so hard. Am I the only person who is struggling?

1 comment:

  1. Cass-I am always here if you would like a visitor, or would like to pop over here, anytime just email me-I would love to catch up with you :)

    ReplyDelete