Thursday, April 8, 2010

Do you have a Tribe?

I would like to hear some other stories.

Do you have a tribe? What do you do to stay socialised? Have you struggled with the social aspect of parenting?

If any of the ten people that read this blog would like to tell their story, then I would love to post it.


  1. Hi Cassie
    The story of my "tribe" is a long one and not one I feel like I can explain in the comment section on your blog lol but if you want to email me at sismclean at I'd love to exchange stories.

  2. You're not alone in your struggle! I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm lonely, but I get bored and know I don't do the best by my kids when I'm isolated. My sister and a close friend have babies within days of mine, but physical distance I think is the big thing that prevents too much tribal behaviour. A 20 minute drive takes more consideration than a walk around the block or pop next door. I'm all for your ideas, but don't feel I can easily raise them and try to implement them. I'm a coward who gets really knocked about by rejection.
    I'm working on building the social side again (cooking, cleaning etc aside). I was working on it with my firstborn, but my return to work effectively severed the relationships that had been built. So I'm starting again with #2.
    Good luck on your continued efforts! You're not alone, but finding like minds within the immediate vicinity, and given that it isn't part of our current culture present significant hurdles.

  3. Thanks for your comments Freya. I absolutely agree with you. I also struggle with rejection, so putting myself out there has been a big deal for me.

    I also agree that my 'ideas' do not always work. I suppose that is exactly the point of this blog... trying to flesh out ideas in order to create a better lifestyle.

  4. I didn't mean that your ideas do not work - just that I'm too chicken to initiate them!

  5. Yes, but that is part of the problem. We are real people in a real world. It is not always easy to cross boundaries. Kind of 'rubber meets the road' when a good idea does not work in practice. (Not giving up though!!).

  6. Hi Cassie,

    I've loved your blog since I found it recently. I don't have a tribe, not really. I do have a couple of friends who parent similarly to me with whom I get along brilliantly, but they live far away.

    HOWEVER! your blog inspired me that I took the risk and put the call out to other mothers to come and form a tribe with me. I have two people coming next Tuesday, with a couple of others also interested. They all live within 15 minutes of me. I hope it works. I want it to work.

    The isolation is a killer. I got out and about, but travelling for an hour or so makes for a very different experience to just dropping in. I realised this fully recently as I now have a friend who does just pop in. The improvement to my daily life caused by this is immeasurable.

    I could go on all day...but I won't! I will say, thank you so much for your blog. I'm sorry your tribe isn't working the way you'd hoped, but keep trying. People can take time to adjust to what you are asking of them as it is so alien these days.

  7. woohoo! Make sure you come back and tell me how your day went. I am definetly not giving up, relocating but not giving up!! Glad to know I have inspired someone.

  8. Hey Cassie,

    Reporting back on my first meet - it was great! Eveyone is keen to meet at least on a weekly basis, so we are starting with that and will see how it evolves.

    You can read more about it here:

  9. Hi Cassie
    The topics posted on your blog are really speaking to me.(I stumbled across a link from a mutual friend's blog). This particular story was meant for me today. I have struggled since moving to SA at the beginning of the year to fit in somewhere. I am getting a modest amount of work and I am really enjoying being more of a stay at home mum for the first time in 5 years...But... (and there is always a but!)I have moments where I have been incredibly frustrated at how hard it is to find my "niche" in this new place. Moving is not foreign to me - 15 moves in the past 30 years approx. I realise I cannot find my happy place until I find "a place to belong" or in your words my "tribe". The kids are settled and for that I am grateful, hubby is happier than he has been in a long time, it's just me that is still needing a place to belong. The nature of my work doesn't help at the moment - supply work only.
    I talk with nearly everyone I meet about my search for somewhere to belong because even though I worry it makes me sound needy, if I don't TELL people about my search how will they know - no-one can read my mind. So my search for a place to belong continues in my immediate location HOWEVER it is not all gloom and doom. I am currently sustained by my long-distance tribe. They are scattered all over the country thanks to my defence force connections. It is not quite as good as spur of the moment coffee but they still make me laugh and cry and engage in thought provoking discussions. That will have to do until I find the right time and place to meet my new best friend.
    Keep the thoughts coming They feed my spirit at the moment.

  10. I am glad you are enjoying the posts. I am very passionate about this. I can relate to the moving. I came from a family that moves a lot (21 schools for me), since leaving home I have managed to settle down though.