Friday, November 5, 2010

You are not doing anything wrong

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This revelation came to me when I was nursing my five month old daughter to sleep one night.

It had been a particular testing evening. My daughter and I had been regularly experiencing what my Aunt calls the ‘witching hour’. I was trying everything in my toolkit and nothing seemed to be working. I sat on the bed with my daughter screaming in my arms and wondered where I had went wrong. Why was she screaming and how had I caused it.

The myriad of conflicting advice I had received since announcing my pregnancy was running through my mind. Maybe I should have a better routine, maybe I should not be nursing her to sleep, maybe I should not be trying to put her to sleep, maybe her bed is in the wrong place, maybe maybe maybe. Then it occurred to me, a revelation that put me at peace…

"You are not doing anything wrong”

It has stuck with me ever since. Anytime I begin to doubt my choices as a mother I remind myself that I have not done anything wrong.

There is not right and wrong in mothering. There is no perfect  method that will produce a perfect child. There is only mums who make choices based on the very best of their reasoning abilities.  Next time you begin to doubt your choices or wonder whether you took (or ignored) the wrong advice, just trust yourself. You are not doing anything wrong.